It's been an interesting month since my last post. Well six weeks I guess.

First of all, it looks like the Femara did work... just slowly! lol I started my period on Day 39, which means I might have ovulated on the Femara, just on Day 25. I went in to see Dr. Thurston on Day 3 after I started my period, and there was an 18mm cyst on my fallopian tube. Or so he thought. It had never been there before. So when I got my Day 14 ultrasound (actually Day 13 this cycle), it was completely gone. So he thinks it may have been a residual cyst.

During that same ultrasound he only saw small follicles, and didn't think the increased dose was working, but wanted to see me back in 5 days. So I went back on Day 19 for another ultrasound. I had a 14mm follicle. He still was skeptical and gave me a prescription for Femara for my next cycle, along with a prescription for follistim (injectables, ugh!).

Well I've been doing ovulation predictor tests, and yesterday, on Day 22, I got a positive! So I definitely think that the Femara is working, just not quickly. I'll have to discuss this with Dr. Thurston at my next appointment.

On a side note, I call the pharmacy about the follistim... um, it's $92 per injection, and I'd have to have 10 injections! YIKES!! I don't expect insurance to cover any of it, so if we can avoid that extra $1,000, that would be nice! lol

So that's the latest. No baby yet, but plenty of people around me are. Which is good and bad. I'm trying to take it all in stride.

Well I've got good news and I've got bad news.

The good news - the Femara worked!
The bad news - it didn't work well enough!

Yep, I went in Monday for my Day 14 sonogram and there were several small follicles, but no big juicy one. The largest was only 8 mm, and we want it to be around 18-20 mm for fertilization. Now, it's possible that it can still grow, and I'll be doing OPK's starting Friday. But this month looks like it's not going to happen.

Next step... Femara Round 2! I have a prescription for a higher dose of Femara for next month. Dr. Thurston seems pretty confident that the higher dose will give my follicles an extra kick in the pants. Let's hope so!

We decided to jump back in. Hindsight, maybe we should have waited another couple of weeks, but I'll get to that in a minute.

I went back to the doctor today... but this time it's a different doctor, same practice though. Dr. Thurston is one of the doctor's I saw when he was on-call one weekend that I needed a sonogram.

So I went in today, we talked about my history, and actually talked about some options that hadn't been discussed before. He did a sonogram and everything looks clear, so I have a prescription for Femera this time instead of Clomid.

I go back in about 11 days. Monday, March 9th. Which happens to be the day that Jack has his LapBand surgery! lol How's that for timing??? So Jack has surgery at 7:00 AM, and then I have a sonogram at 3:30 PM. Different hospitals, of course! Jack has to stay at the hospital overnight, so it will be fine. I'd be more worried if it was outpatient surgery and I had to get him home and take care of him that day.

So this should be interesting. I'm hoping I don't ovulate on Day 14 this month!! lol Normally I ovulate around Day 17-18 on the Clomid, so we'll see what happens with the Femera.

Let's see where this pony takes us!

lol... that's what it feels like each month... we go all the way back to the beginning and begin again, and again, and again! lol I feel like I should just copy and paste from previous posts!

So I went to Dr. Richards today for my checkup and go ahead for this cycle. Basically he does an ultrasound to make sure there's no lingering cysts. I got the all clear, so I'm starting (again) the Clomid today.

One change this cycle is the Estrogen patch. My uterine lining was borderline too thin for implantation, so the patch should help with that.

We talked about what happened last cycle (I really need to call them cycles instead of months, but more on that later). Dr. Richards thinks that we missed the ovulation by a day. Basically, we should have done the IUI earlier. I think from here on out we're going to take a "Sperm wait for the egg" approach. Meaning that we do the IUI close to, but before we anticipate ovulation so that the sperm are sitting there waiting for the egg to be released. That's fine with me! From what I've read, that approach can yield a better chance of having a girl. So we'll see! I'll be happy with either to be completely honest. :o)

One of the things I've been doing lately is confusing my days/dates. lol Someone will ask what today's date is and I want to tell them Day 7.... as in CYCLE day 7! lol And my cycles are spanning across months, so it gets confusing to say last month, when I mean last cycle. So I really need to do a better job of keeping my terminology straight!

Anyway, that's about it. I was really bummed about not having an "announcement" for Christmas, but maybe we'll have one for Martin Luther King Jr's birthday? lol Because I don't want to have to wait for Valentine's Day!! :o)

Monday I went for my bloodwork and got the results of the Progesterone test on Wednesday. The nurse said "It's really good! Dr. Richards was surprised!" Cool! What was the number? 8. Which is good, but I had to laugh because it's been over 10 before! lol

So I got my hopes up. I mean, we've had so many people praying for us, and with the Christmas next week, I just really thought "Hey, maybe this is my month!"

Well it's not. Saturday morning, there was the evidence. I was devastated. Poor Jack, he didn't know what to do. I just laid in bed bawling my eyes out and couldn't stop. I felt so stupid, but I couldn't help it. All day I'd tear up at the drop of a hat. Ugh! So frustrating, but I just needed to cry. I heard a preacher say once that crying is cleansing, like laughing is healing. I believe that.

So what now? I don't know, honestly. I'm torn between doing another cycle, or waiting a couple of months. Because I'm so discouraged right now, part of me is saying why do I want to put myself (and Jack) through that again? But I want this to happen so much that another part is saying I don't want to put it off.

I'll probably go see Dr. Richards on Tuesday and talk to him about some options. Last month we talked about the possibility of raising my dosage of Clomid. I think this next cycle I want to do that (whether it's this month or another month). Also, Dr. Thurston, one of the on-call docs that I saw, suggested I ask about adding Estrogen after the Clomid, so I want to talk to him about how that would help.

*Sigh*

2ww. That's what they call it on the message boards. It's the time between ovulation and menstruation. Wow that sounds really clinical! But it is what it is. It's the two week wait between the window of opportunity for conception, and the time when you find out if it worked. And that's where we are... right now.

Another round of Clomid this time, some anxiety about it (since we missed the window last cycle), and a lot of juggling as it turned out!

I went to see Dr. Richards on Monday, December 1 for my Day 12 ultrasound. I had a nice little follicle (again, just one) that measured about 11mm. Not big enough, so we needed to give it some time to cook some more.

On Thursday, December 4 I went in again, this time it was Dr. Richards' son... the other Dr. Richards! lol... who did my ultrasound. Talk about a Doogie Howser moment! The-little-follicle-that-could had grown to about 16mm. Good, but not good enough. Back in the oven little follicle.

This meant that I needed to go in on Saturday to measure again (here's where the juggling came in!). On Saturday I'd see the on-call doctor, which turned out to be Dr. Jeffrey Thurston (sidenote: very neat guy, very personable, and very, very funny! I seriously considered switching to him after that appointment!), but we weren't sure when because he was fitting me in between deliveries and rounds. But what really made it complicated was that I had a craft show that day too! So my sister in law manned my booth while I went to get the new measurements (thank you again, Summer!). So I called the after hours number Saturday morning, got my marching orders and showed up at the hospital (they have an OB office there in addition to the regular office I usually go to). I have to say again, Dr. Thurston was a HOOT! Great bedside manner, I loved him! Anyway... (lol)... the follicle was now 19mm, nice and ripe and ready to go! The next step would be the HCG shot to induce ovulation. However, the follicle was cloudy on the ultrasound, so Dr. Thurston felt like I was in the process of or had just ovulated, so we skipped the shot (yay!). He scheduled me for the insemenation (IUI) on Sunday, gave us the paperwork, called the ARTS program, and sent us on our merry way.

Now, the ARTS program was supposed to call and schedule us to come in on Sunday. By 3:00 I hadn't heard anything and kind of started freaking out. I called the ARTS office, left a voicemail. I called my doctor's after hours number, left a voicemail. The on-call nurse called me back and said the ARTS office was probably already closed for the day. Great! What do we do now? Call them first thing Sunday morning. They typically take the sample at 9:00 AM and you go back around 11:00 AM (which explains why they were probably gone by 12:30 when Dr. Thurston called to schedule me! But I digress...). I asked what the chances were of them turning us away if we just showed up at 9:00... not sure, but it's worth a try. So that's what we did.

Sunday morning I called the ARTS office at 8:00 AM. Voicemail. Great. Left a message and then we got in the car and headed to the hospital, hoping and praying they'd agree to see us without an official appointment. We were about 1/2 way there when my phone rang... it was the ARTS nurse... if we had the paperwork they'd see us! Yay! We got there, Jack did his thing, and then I called the on-call nurse from my doctor's office to schedule the on-call doctor to come and do the IUI. Today's on-call doc was Dr. Bertrand, who happens to be the doctor who did my first IUI! We joked that I'm destined to have a John David (his name) instead of a James Kyle (Dr. Richards' name!).

We headed to La Madeline's for some breakfast.

The nurse called back... Dr. Bertrand wanted to push it back to 12:00 noon so he could go to church (we were supposed to pick up the sample at 10:45 AM). She tried calling ARTS to no avail, so the doc skipped church and was going to meet us at 11:00 AM at the hospital.

We picked up the sample, headed to the office, and met up with Dr. Bertrand. We got settled in the room, he came in, asked a few questions, did the insemenation procedure, told me to lay there for about 30 minutes, best of luck and good wishes, and when we left through the side door it would lock behind us.

And that was it. And now we wait. And wait. And wait. The waiting is the hardest part!

So I have the all clear from the doctor, and I'm starting Prometrium this week to re-start my cycle. I'll take it for 12 days, then start my period within a few days, then do Clomid on days 3-7. I'll go in for a sonogram on Day 12, and then we'll see where we go from there.

Jack went to the urologist. Turns out he has low testosterone. He re-did his semen analysis on Saturday, and we'll find out those test results this week. Once the test results are back he'll meet with the Urologist to decide how to treat the low testosterone. Any suggestions?? lol

Other than that, we're just plugging away!

Well, it's been a few months since I posted. I go back and forth between wanting to be public with what we're doing and keeping it a more personal journey. But ultimately I think this is a good forum for expressing myself. And maybe if I say it here, Jack won't get so tired of hearing about it at home! lol

So my last post basically said that we were investigating adoption. After that we decided to try the Clomid one more time. Well, I did Clomid that month, and OMG.... it worked! Not worked like I got pregnant worked, but I actually ovulated! Holy cow! I was using the ClearPlan Fertility Monitor just to see if I ever got an elevated or peak signal and I did! I was SOOOO excited that morning! lol Jack truly thought I had lost it!

So in June we did Clomid, I ovulated, and no pregnant.
In July we did Clomid, I ovulated, and no pregnant.

During this time I was charting my temps and watching my cervical mucus (as per the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility). I never did experience the egg white cervical mucus that is described, or anything close to it.

Also during this time, I had been seeing my regular gynocologist. He had an interest in infertility, but wasn't exactly a specialist. And his nurse... geez. I love her to death, she is so sweet, but she knew nothing about what I was looking for from an infertility standpoint.

So with all of this, I made a decision. Well WE made a decision, Jack and me. We decided to go back to where we started.... Dr. Richards. He's not a Reproductive Endocrinologist, but he is a fertility specialist.

I saw Dr. Richards in August, and even though I was a little bit past the standard Clomid window (cycle days 3-7 or 5-9), we went ahead with the prescription and Intrauterine Insemination (IUI). I took the Clomid for five days, then went in for a sonogram five days after the last pill. The sonogram showed one good follicle on my left ovary, which was great! Enough stimulation, but not too much!! It was still a little small, so he wanted to let it grow some more over the weekend (the sonogram was on a Friday), and then I was to go in Monday for a follow up sonogram and then the HSG shot to induce ovulation. The plan was that I would then have the IUI procedure on that Tuesday.

Well of course my body can't cooperate! lol I felt discomfort on my left side that Sunday, indicating that I was ovulating. I took an Ovulation Predictor Kit test and sure enough, it was positive! Monday morning I called Dr. Richards' office to inform them of the change of plans... I'd be needing the IUI a day early! Dr. Richards was actually out that day, but one of his partners, Dr. Bertrand would do the procedure.

I was at work waiting for a call back to tell me when and where to go. The nurse finally called back and told me to go to the ARTS lab at Presbyterian Hospital, that I had an appointment at 10:45 AM. Well it was 10:00 when she called! I called Jack (who had been put on alert!), and he came to pick me up from the office and we headed to the hospital. Thankfully downtown wasn't congested and we got there at 10:50! Jack went in and provided the deposit and we went to have lunch and hang out at Borders until the sample was ready.

We went back at 1:30 PM to pick up the sample.... "the boys!" lol Then headed across the street to see Dr. Bertrand. After a few, um, mishaps (the air conditioning wasn't on in the exam room, the motor on the table wouldn't work, some tools were missing, etc. lol) the boys were safely and successfully deposited! Yay!

Fast forward a week.... I had bloodwork done and my progesterone was 10.2, which is the highest it's ever been! Before I started the metformin, my progesterone would be less than 1.0, which means I did NOT ovulate, so the Clomid wasn't working. June was the first month of Clomid and Metformin, and my progesterone was 8.1, which confirmed that I did actually ovulate. July my progesterone was 5.3, so I ovulated but not really good. In reality, had I gotten pregnant either of those times I most likely would have miscarried because they want it to be over 10 to be able to sustain a pregnancy. So this was good news... it was the highest it had ever been, and was definitely high enough to avoid a miscarriage. Yay!

Fast forward another week.... cramping... not yay.... bleeding... really not yay. So in a nutshell.... all that and it didn't work. Bummer.

So I went in yesterday to see Dr. Richards, for a follow up sonogram before starting another round of Clomid, just to make sure there were no lingering cysts or follicles. Guess what, I still had a follicle hanging around. So we're going to give it a couple of weeks to see if it will go away on it's own.

At the same time, we have a new challenge.... the lab did a report on the quality and quantity of Jack's sperm. When this test/report was done three years ago, before Jack's accident, he had 156 million sperm! Which is awesome! However last month, his sperm count was only 3 million. Quite a drop! So Jack is going to go see a Urologist next week to see if they can figure out why it dropped so considerably.

So that's it! If you're still reading this.... thanks! lol I know it's a lot, but I really do want to chronicle this time and part of our lives, so I had some catching up to do! I won't wait so long for the next one! :o)

~Heather

Sorry I haven't updated in forever! I finished a round of Provera, started my period last week and then started Clomid on Saturday. Today is day 5.... last dose of Clomid for this cycle. We should know in about 3 weeks if it worked!

Happy Thanksgiving!
~Heather

Jack and I went to see Dr. Atkins yesterday. He jinxed me last time I was in his office by saying I’d be pregnant by December! (At that time I had had three regular periods, but haven’t had a single one since then!) So we talked Clomid. He told us about the side effects, the risk of multiples, etc. After that he did a regular exam, a pap, and gave me two prescriptions. One is for Provera, which will get a period started for me. That way we know when to start counting day one of my cycle. The other is for Clomid. I’ll take five doses of Clomid starting on day 5 of my cycle. Then on day 21 he’ll do bloodwork. If I have an elevated progesterone level, that means I ovulated, and the Clomid worked! If not, then we increase the dosage next month. Day 30 I’ll take a pregnancy test if I haven’t started another period, and we’ll just go from there!

I really, really like Dr. Atkins. He’s young, cool, very personable, and isn’t offended when I start a sentence with “I read on the internet that….” :o)

So here’s hoping for lots and lots of baby dust!!
~Heather