lol... that's what it feels like each month... we go all the way back to the beginning and begin again, and again, and again! lol I feel like I should just copy and paste from previous posts!

So I went to Dr. Richards today for my checkup and go ahead for this cycle. Basically he does an ultrasound to make sure there's no lingering cysts. I got the all clear, so I'm starting (again) the Clomid today.

One change this cycle is the Estrogen patch. My uterine lining was borderline too thin for implantation, so the patch should help with that.

We talked about what happened last cycle (I really need to call them cycles instead of months, but more on that later). Dr. Richards thinks that we missed the ovulation by a day. Basically, we should have done the IUI earlier. I think from here on out we're going to take a "Sperm wait for the egg" approach. Meaning that we do the IUI close to, but before we anticipate ovulation so that the sperm are sitting there waiting for the egg to be released. That's fine with me! From what I've read, that approach can yield a better chance of having a girl. So we'll see! I'll be happy with either to be completely honest. :o)

One of the things I've been doing lately is confusing my days/dates. lol Someone will ask what today's date is and I want to tell them Day 7.... as in CYCLE day 7! lol And my cycles are spanning across months, so it gets confusing to say last month, when I mean last cycle. So I really need to do a better job of keeping my terminology straight!

Anyway, that's about it. I was really bummed about not having an "announcement" for Christmas, but maybe we'll have one for Martin Luther King Jr's birthday? lol Because I don't want to have to wait for Valentine's Day!! :o)

Monday I went for my bloodwork and got the results of the Progesterone test on Wednesday. The nurse said "It's really good! Dr. Richards was surprised!" Cool! What was the number? 8. Which is good, but I had to laugh because it's been over 10 before! lol

So I got my hopes up. I mean, we've had so many people praying for us, and with the Christmas next week, I just really thought "Hey, maybe this is my month!"

Well it's not. Saturday morning, there was the evidence. I was devastated. Poor Jack, he didn't know what to do. I just laid in bed bawling my eyes out and couldn't stop. I felt so stupid, but I couldn't help it. All day I'd tear up at the drop of a hat. Ugh! So frustrating, but I just needed to cry. I heard a preacher say once that crying is cleansing, like laughing is healing. I believe that.

So what now? I don't know, honestly. I'm torn between doing another cycle, or waiting a couple of months. Because I'm so discouraged right now, part of me is saying why do I want to put myself (and Jack) through that again? But I want this to happen so much that another part is saying I don't want to put it off.

I'll probably go see Dr. Richards on Tuesday and talk to him about some options. Last month we talked about the possibility of raising my dosage of Clomid. I think this next cycle I want to do that (whether it's this month or another month). Also, Dr. Thurston, one of the on-call docs that I saw, suggested I ask about adding Estrogen after the Clomid, so I want to talk to him about how that would help.

*Sigh*

I went yesterday morning for the progesterone test. Called the doctor's office today to see if they had the results. Nope. Another day to wait.

I'm pretty confident that it will be positive for ovulation. The real test is still another week away. I'm not so sure about that one.

I just felt the need to post this....
I LOVE my doctor's office! My doc is fabulous (Dr. James Richards), and his nurses are amazing! But I have to say that even his colleagues have been awesome! I know they say that when you go in to delivery you never know which doctor you'll get (based on who is on call), but I can honestly say that I would love to have any of those doctors with me.

So if you're in the Dallas area, check out Walnut Hill OBGYN Associates. They deliver at Presbyterian Hospital in Dallas. And, obviously, they do fertility stuff too! lol

2ww. That's what they call it on the message boards. It's the time between ovulation and menstruation. Wow that sounds really clinical! But it is what it is. It's the two week wait between the window of opportunity for conception, and the time when you find out if it worked. And that's where we are... right now.

Another round of Clomid this time, some anxiety about it (since we missed the window last cycle), and a lot of juggling as it turned out!

I went to see Dr. Richards on Monday, December 1 for my Day 12 ultrasound. I had a nice little follicle (again, just one) that measured about 11mm. Not big enough, so we needed to give it some time to cook some more.

On Thursday, December 4 I went in again, this time it was Dr. Richards' son... the other Dr. Richards! lol... who did my ultrasound. Talk about a Doogie Howser moment! The-little-follicle-that-could had grown to about 16mm. Good, but not good enough. Back in the oven little follicle.

This meant that I needed to go in on Saturday to measure again (here's where the juggling came in!). On Saturday I'd see the on-call doctor, which turned out to be Dr. Jeffrey Thurston (sidenote: very neat guy, very personable, and very, very funny! I seriously considered switching to him after that appointment!), but we weren't sure when because he was fitting me in between deliveries and rounds. But what really made it complicated was that I had a craft show that day too! So my sister in law manned my booth while I went to get the new measurements (thank you again, Summer!). So I called the after hours number Saturday morning, got my marching orders and showed up at the hospital (they have an OB office there in addition to the regular office I usually go to). I have to say again, Dr. Thurston was a HOOT! Great bedside manner, I loved him! Anyway... (lol)... the follicle was now 19mm, nice and ripe and ready to go! The next step would be the HCG shot to induce ovulation. However, the follicle was cloudy on the ultrasound, so Dr. Thurston felt like I was in the process of or had just ovulated, so we skipped the shot (yay!). He scheduled me for the insemenation (IUI) on Sunday, gave us the paperwork, called the ARTS program, and sent us on our merry way.

Now, the ARTS program was supposed to call and schedule us to come in on Sunday. By 3:00 I hadn't heard anything and kind of started freaking out. I called the ARTS office, left a voicemail. I called my doctor's after hours number, left a voicemail. The on-call nurse called me back and said the ARTS office was probably already closed for the day. Great! What do we do now? Call them first thing Sunday morning. They typically take the sample at 9:00 AM and you go back around 11:00 AM (which explains why they were probably gone by 12:30 when Dr. Thurston called to schedule me! But I digress...). I asked what the chances were of them turning us away if we just showed up at 9:00... not sure, but it's worth a try. So that's what we did.

Sunday morning I called the ARTS office at 8:00 AM. Voicemail. Great. Left a message and then we got in the car and headed to the hospital, hoping and praying they'd agree to see us without an official appointment. We were about 1/2 way there when my phone rang... it was the ARTS nurse... if we had the paperwork they'd see us! Yay! We got there, Jack did his thing, and then I called the on-call nurse from my doctor's office to schedule the on-call doctor to come and do the IUI. Today's on-call doc was Dr. Bertrand, who happens to be the doctor who did my first IUI! We joked that I'm destined to have a John David (his name) instead of a James Kyle (Dr. Richards' name!).

We headed to La Madeline's for some breakfast.

The nurse called back... Dr. Bertrand wanted to push it back to 12:00 noon so he could go to church (we were supposed to pick up the sample at 10:45 AM). She tried calling ARTS to no avail, so the doc skipped church and was going to meet us at 11:00 AM at the hospital.

We picked up the sample, headed to the office, and met up with Dr. Bertrand. We got settled in the room, he came in, asked a few questions, did the insemenation procedure, told me to lay there for about 30 minutes, best of luck and good wishes, and when we left through the side door it would lock behind us.

And that was it. And now we wait. And wait. And wait. The waiting is the hardest part!

Today was my Day 12 (actually Day 13) ultrasound with Dr. Richards. I have one follicle, but it's small, only 11mm. I'm scheduled to go back on Thursday and see the other Dr. Richards (my doctor's son) for another ultrasound to see how much it has grown. So we'll see where that leads.

Originally I was going to skip November and December because of the holidays and family stuff, but after the disappointment last month I just felt like I should try one more time this year. I'm just really hoping and praying that this is going to be my month!