Monday I went for my bloodwork and got the results of the Progesterone test on Wednesday. The nurse said "It's really good! Dr. Richards was surprised!" Cool! What was the number? 8. Which is good, but I had to laugh because it's been over 10 before! lol

So I got my hopes up. I mean, we've had so many people praying for us, and with the Christmas next week, I just really thought "Hey, maybe this is my month!"

Well it's not. Saturday morning, there was the evidence. I was devastated. Poor Jack, he didn't know what to do. I just laid in bed bawling my eyes out and couldn't stop. I felt so stupid, but I couldn't help it. All day I'd tear up at the drop of a hat. Ugh! So frustrating, but I just needed to cry. I heard a preacher say once that crying is cleansing, like laughing is healing. I believe that.

So what now? I don't know, honestly. I'm torn between doing another cycle, or waiting a couple of months. Because I'm so discouraged right now, part of me is saying why do I want to put myself (and Jack) through that again? But I want this to happen so much that another part is saying I don't want to put it off.

I'll probably go see Dr. Richards on Tuesday and talk to him about some options. Last month we talked about the possibility of raising my dosage of Clomid. I think this next cycle I want to do that (whether it's this month or another month). Also, Dr. Thurston, one of the on-call docs that I saw, suggested I ask about adding Estrogen after the Clomid, so I want to talk to him about how that would help.

*Sigh*